Society and young people have figured out that children as "seen and not heard", "second class citizens", and "do as I say and don't ask questions" does not work, nor is it right. If there were a million books written on parenting, there would be almost that many recommendations for an effective "system" for being a parent.
Basic Keys for any System of Parenting:
1. Treat a child like you would an adult (give respect), but expect the child to act like a child (mistakes). Unfortunately, what often occurs is that we treat them like a child (no respect), but expect them to act like adults (no mistakes).
2. Be consistent. Whatever is your "system" of parenting, do it consistently. Do not make the child guess as to what the rules are each day.
3. Be flexible while you are consistent. Consistency applies to the long term plan, rules, and values; flexibility to reward and punishment.
4. Express your love. A child should never have to guess whether you love her/him. Show it; do not expect that the child will automatically know it.
5. When punishing a child, always show forth afterward with an increase of love and concern. This helps solidify the discipline as well as prevent the child from believing that the only reason for the discipline was your anger or your rules.
6. Talk with your child. Tell the child the reasons for you position even if the child cannot understand. This will set a memory trace in the child's mind organizing a cognitive structure which are the things wherein attitudes, values, life direction are laid.
7. Be patient. What you really want as a parent is a child who becomes a well functioning adult. This means that the child has at least 18 years.
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